Illustration for article titled Self-Defense Experts Say Pushing Assailants Gun Against Own Forehead Still Best Way To Show You Don’t Care Whether You Live Or Die

WASHINGTON—Emphasizing the unmistakable clarity of the dramatic conflict resolution maneuver, top self-defense experts confirmed Monday that seizing the barrel of your assailant’s gun and pushing it against your own forehead remains the foremost method of demonstrating that you no longer care whether you live or die. “Even the average citizen with no martial arts training or combat experience can place their head against the muzzle of a brandished firearm while shouting ‘Do it, if you have the guts’ in order to take control of an armed confrontation,” said defense trainer Kim Marco, stressing that such tactics should be in any street-smart person’s playbook along with pressing one’s neck against an aggressor’s knife until one’s blood is drawn or driving into oncoming traffic during a carjacking. “This is a tried-and-true method of displaying utter disregard for your own meaningless life, causing any self-respecting gunman to believe you’re capable of anything. If it’s not working, something as simple as placing your mouth around the barrel of the gun while maintaining unblinking eye contact is almost guaranteed to resolve things.” Marco added that grabbing your pursuer and jumping off a bridge was nearly as effective, provided you possess basic swimming skills.


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