Anteater ‌Knows‌ ‌It‌’s Stereotypical‌ ‌But‌ ‌Can’t‌ ‌Help‌ ‌But‌ ‌Love‌ Ants‌

GRAN CHACO, BOLIVIA—Despite expressing reservations about being a caricature of his entire species, local giant anteater Armando Snout confirmed Tuesday that even though he knew it was stereotypical, he couldn’t help but love ants. “I know, I know, I’m a walking cliché, but can you blame a guy—they’re just plain delicious,” said the anteater, adding that no matter how many termites or soft-bodied grubs he ate, he always found himself going right back to ants. “What am I supposed to do, pretend like I don’t love those little dudes? If I’m being totally honest, there’s nothing I’d rather do than stick my long tongue into an anthill and spend my afternoon sucking them out by the dozen. I don’t want to be a self-parody or anything, but fruit bats like fruit, and you don’t see them freaking out.” At press time, the anteater had retracted his comments after accidentally getting his tongue stuck in an ant colony.