Pros And Cons Of D.C. Statehood

The movement to make Washington, D.C. the nation’s 51st state has continued to gain momentum and is emerging as a significant issue in an increasingly polarized country, but the proposal has many critics. The Onion looks at the pros and cons of granting D.C. statehood.

PRO

Confers all the benefits of having state bird.

Adds much-needed jobs to state lobbyist sector.

Haven’t stuck it to Puerto Rico in a few months.

Would remove one of the several thousand barriers to making voice heard.

CON

New flag way too busy.

Breaks from longstanding practice of disenfranchising Black voters.

Slippery slope to giving statehood to Delaware.

Pointless to add state to country with only 10 to 20 years left.