Guy Who Asked For Personal Information Definitely Seemed Like Census Taker

BANDON, OR—Explaining that the visitor had appeared legitimate for the most part, area man Robert Moralis told reporters the guy who came to his house Tuesday and asked for his personal information definitely seemed like a census taker. “Anyone who wants that many details about that many areas of my life would, I think, just about have to be from the census,” said Moralis, adding that the shaking, profusely sweating man who had what appeared to be fresh blood stains on his pants didn’t present any credentials identifying himself as a census worker, but did carry a clipboard and looked as if he knew what he was doing, more or less. “While I admit it was unexpected, considering I mailed in my census form months ago, I’m sure they have to send people around sometimes to ask a few follow-ups and double-check things. He had a lot of questions about where I do my banking and was really careful to get my Social Security number down correctly, but hey, that’s his job, right? They must keep him busy, too, because he kept looking over his shoulder and as soon as he was finished, he took off running.” Moralis went on to muse over how modernized the census had become, observing that a decade ago they didn’t even bother asking you to provide a complete list of usernames and passwords for all the websites you visit.