Your Horoscopes — Week Of September 22, 2020

Aries | March 21 to April 19For centuries, fire was a sacred symbol of vitality and strength. Keep this in min

توسط ISTGAHESHOMAREYEK در 2 مهر 1399

Aries | March 21 to April 19

For centuries, fire was a sacred symbol of vitality and strength. Keep this in mind as you roll around frantically on your kitchen floor this Thursday.

Taurus | April 20 to May 20

The fruits of your labor will finally ripen this week before going soft and filling with mold two days later.

Advertisement

Gemini | May 21 to June 20

It may take more muscles to smile than it does to frown, but with 90% of your body completely paralyzed, even frowning would be a worthwhile workout.

Cancer | June 21 to July 22

Your imagination is the limit! Try visualizing what your future would look like as head garbageman!

Advertisement

Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

The explosion of a blood vessel beneath your brain’s memory center will soon give you the fresh start you’ve been searching for.

Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

A thousand monkeys on a thousand typewriters will finally produce the complete works of William Shakespeare, only to dismiss them as inferior to the oeuvre of Christopher Marlowe, or even Francis Bacon at his height. 

Advertisement

Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

Don’t be surprised this week if someone strangles you with a length of piano wire as you read about your future.

Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

When life gives you lemons, why not blame them on your troubled upbringing and consequent inability to show affection? It sure beats making lemonade.

Advertisement

Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

Don’t listen to what others may be saying about your highly unstable nature and crippling psychosis. After all, most of those voices exist only in your head.

Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

You will once again dress up as an emotionally stunted man-child for Halloween this year.

Advertisement

Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

Nobody said that it was going to be easy, or fun, or even practical. But then nobody really said much about your desire to take up differential calculus.

Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

The stars think it’s time you stopped skirting around the issue and finally told your cat how you really feel.

Advertisement


tinyurlis.gdu.nuclck.ruulvis.netshrtco.de
آخرین مطالب
مقالات مشابه
نظرات کاربرن